You guys. Change is hard. I’ve never been someone who welcomed change into my life willingly and more times than not I’ve fought very hard against it. While I appreciate that it HAS to happen, it doesn’t fill me with excitement for new opportunities. Knowing this, you can imagine that moving from Baltimore City, my home of six years to Columbia was not an easy transition last summer.
I knew it wouldn’t be. But I also wasn’t prepared for my world to be completely flipped upside down which it 1000% was.
For six years I walked to work or drove less than a mile each day, I walked to dinner or happy hour to catch up with friends, I befriended local business owners who were near my house or that I worked with and they became true friends, and I made a point to immerse myself in the city I had chosen to call home.
That was ALL GONE when we moved to the ‘burbs six months ago.
I don’t even know how to explain the transition other than that it felt very much like a break-up. A break-up that was happening simultaneously with a wedding, a honeymoon and a brand new job in a brand new city. It was a lot to process and truly I didn’t process it at all.
I thought over time it would get easier and heard myself making excuses that sounded a lot like this:
“Oh, it’s just the stress of the impending wedding”
“I think I’m just overwhelmed because we are leaving for our honeymoon tomorrow”
“The craziness I feel is just because event season is still in full swing and we are super busy”
But then January rolled around. The government shut down, I had nothing on my calendar to stress me out, it snowed its booty off, I was stuck inside my house for days on end and I was VERY SAD. I had to come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t the wedding, the honeymoon or work that was driving the change in my mood. I was sad to leave city life and it was time to let myself FEEL those feelings instead of pushing them aside.
After an hour long drive home from work, I’d walk the pup and then collapse on my sofa in exhaustion. I’d watch my friends on Instagram stories continue living their best lives in the city going to restaurant openings, blogger events and doing all the things I used to love as well. My FOMO was real, but I also couldn’t get it to together enough to go and be there for those things.
Something had to give.
I was wallowing in self pity and started to become frustrated with myself on so many levels.
Finally a friend (Hi, Alex!) pushed me to join her at an event in Baltimore. It felt so good to see the skyline come into view as we approached on 95 and to hug friends who I hadn’t seen in months! I felt a high that I hadn’t experienced in a long while and I didn’t want it to end. So I’ve spent the last few weeks saying yes. I’ve met up with friends to support them at pop-ups, checked out new restaurants and breweries and I’ve started a brand new blog celebrating this stage of life that I’m in and navigating through.
And you know what? It feels damn good. I’m starting to feel like myself again, but a better version if that makes sense. I’m back to doing the things that make me truly happy- writing on a blog, meeting new people and hyping up the ones I already know and love.
I am finally starting to find my place and where I fit in, but I have to remember that we will be moving closer to DC this year. While I’m excited to immerse myself in the blogging community there, I’m equally as excited to continue supporting my Baltimore babes. Just because I’m not LIVING in Baltimore anymore doesn’t mean I’m not a Baltimore girl at heart.
Now, whose ready to party it up at Galentine’s Day tomorrow night?